Just a couple of short notes here which should add immeasurably to my appeal for nomination to the office of King of the World:
- When I am so elected, I will address an error in judgment that has existed for centuries; that is, weekends are too short. In order to remedy this egregious error, I will designate Saturday as three days of the week and leave Sunday where it now stands. This means the so-called work week will be properly deflated to Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.
- I have also realized that Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s create anxiety and havoc by falling into a short span of time during the calendar year. Thus, I will evenly space these significant holidays throughout the twelve months. Additionally, I will make certain that the timing of these major periods of celebration occur at the beginning or end of the work week as noted above. No more of this Christmas and New Year’s inconveniently occurring on Wednesday.
- P.S. Although no elections have been designated just yet, don’t forget to vote (for me)!